When I'm Mad

I'm usually a well rounded person, sometimes I am pushed into doing things  don't really want to do. But there are times when I just feel like hitting someone in the face. Here is where the defense mechanism of "Displacement" step in. I really hate when I am being accuse of doing something that I did not do. I can sometimes manage to accept my faults and work around them, or work with them. I don't really know why I have emotional outbrust and start have mixed feelings about people and different things I do, but I have them. I knoe that I overuse this so called " defense mechanism" but i do. There would be days when I get home from school and be really stress out and can't hold back how I feel if I had failed a test for example, then I would totally go insane infront of my parents and they would be wondering what is wrong with me... seriously... then they start thinking that I need therapy...lol... Controlling my emotions and finding other ways with deal with everyday problems that I may encounter can be a challenge. I can learn to apply different way to deal with stress. I have not even taking a look into how it would make a person feel about my outbrust at times. They must think I am going crazy...but when I mad there's very little things I could think about that can control how I am feeling. My parents and friends sometimes consider me miserable, I'm not sure exactly why?? but I think its the way I carrry my self. My parents also thinks I need to evaluate my personality because it my contribut to the way I behavior sometimes. I just think it's sometimes on the moon..lol...I think that me replacing dispalcement with "Intellectualization" would help me very much. If I have a feel of how other people might think when I have and emotionaly outbrust thenI would probably start thinking on what I have to say before I say it.I usually use "rationalization". I sometimes find way to blame other people for problems I might have done to not get scolded  but still do sometimes. My behaviour I sometimes blame it on how I was brought up and I cant keep doing that because that would sho that I am not a very mature person. I would not be takeing responsiblity for things I did. Like when I have broken something in my house and I just clean up the mess and not say anything...I feel guilty attimes. I could replace this problem with "Suppression" I can put on feeling and memories to deal with other things later in the day. Instead of igoring the fact that I did something wrong and not owing up to it.The Neurotic Need for Affection and approval.I sometimes please other people more that I please myself. I sometimes see it. like, If I make that person happy I will feel happy later. But that is not rite...I just feel really angry because I am not contented with myself. This happens especially with my parents, they expext me to go out of my way for other people, they believe that I would be rewarded and given something more valuable than happiness,but what the hell...happpiness is the key to life...rite? them people....They want us to fear nothing but the living ok....I believe that rite..accept criticism...like that is okay... but some people over do it.I can replace this neurotic need to  restrick ones life in narrow borders. I don't believe material things would give you success but it will make you have a better lifestyle...who soen't want that???...but when you obsessed wit it is a different story... be this way you not have fear for no one and nothing they will not be able to use power and make you feel fearful. A need for prestige at times might get me in trouble. But I have learn to slip into the background at times. I don't want to be famous or any shit like that, I want to take credit for whatI do good and impressive. I would exchange it for a need for partner whio will take over life. This would be a an interesting one because it would take my mind in trying to be sucesssful and being on top of everything and not meet disapointment along the way. Disappontment that could be aviode either when I am mad or not. A partner can make this happen.